Give up everything

I give up fight with lawyer.

And I give up to live.

So I go to place where healing hotel near grave of my older brother.

At hotel I heal myself and cool down.

At there I meet monk M ,he is monk of Shingo n sect.

He said to me ,please give up to live in ego.

I cry lots of tear.But something change in side.

To be continued.

I meet practitioner of Buddhism

At Henro house I meet Buddhism practitioner.

He studied lots of Sect of Buddhism.

And he traveled around 10 year with only one bag pack.

I really enjoyed to talk with him.

So I give him Dharma clothes.And he give me his chant book.

He is not monk.But he is Buddha.

I realized.

Nine bow to him and all practitioner and all being.

Fight with lawyer

I suffered big trouble,depend on my bad attitude.

So I need to fight to lawyer.

He has lots of weapons to fight with me.

Finally I become ,I can not sleep ,walk.

So I give up to work.

I just want to save my son.Only this my ego is important for me at that time.

To be continued...

Walk to 16th temple and Zazen,rest,Takuhatsu

After leave Henro hotel near 12th temple,I walk 20km .

Very hard to walk in mountain,but river heal my leg and thirst.

But very tired.

So today I sit Zazen.I found sleeping bag is good Zafu.

And do Takuthatsu and rest day.

Nine bows.

Next day of finish to vow at 12th temple

In the morning ,I go to Zendo.

But monk is not at Zendo.

Yesterday he said to me throw out plate outside.

 But I can not found.

And Zendo is very dirty.

And go back hotel,and I heard about it by owner.

She said ,he is fake monk ,and just want money...

I decide to give up taking plate.

Plate is not plate,before I will chanting.

So I call goods shop near here and ,can you make plate?

He said OK!

So I make plate by myself,but my money will almost empty.

But I decide,I will help my younger brother or sister.

If I suffer big trouble.

 I do not regret.Gassho 

11th temple to 12th temple

I leave near 11th temple at 7AM

I send baggege to my home,because too heavy to climb mountain today.

First I start walking alone.

This challenge is very hard,I climb mountain 0m to 700m,and lots of up and down and 12km distance.

And I suffer from fear of bee and snake,they have lots of poison.

After I walk about 5km,I meet a 4members group,old man and young woman and person who come from Bergium.

We help each other,in English and Japanese.

Everybody is very tired and some person have injure.

At a rest time ,I do short Dharma talk.

After 8 hour passed we arrive at 12th temple.

After arriving ,we walk own way.

I walk to small Zendo,but I call to monk but he doesn't answer.

Around 6PM become getting sun set,so I worry about only alone...

Such time 2 old man who walk together today ,walk around small Zendo.

And I talk to them.

I am very troubled,tired and no money and monk doesn't answer.

So they suggest me to come with them and stay small house.And they donate me,because they think my Dharma talk was helpful.

So I decide to accept this suggestion.

After arriving home,monk call me and say ,why did you not come Zendo?I am very angry.

So please come right now by walk for 1 hour climb mountain at dark night.

So I said to him.He was at Temple name J ,he is kind of my Dharma older brother but,your attitude is not good,this is not Buddhism.

After we take dinner ,I hear owner of home,monk of Zendo is not good person.So your choise is reasonable.

So I realize ,follow my mind is very important.

Maybe he is not bad monk,but maybe he has too much ego.

My journey will continue...

Come back to work and pray again

After come back my home,I work more hard,to forget myself.

But I suffer at vertigo,like big earthquakes.

Such time lawyer call me suddenly,he broke our promise.

But I work harder and harder to my son.

I was very tired ,so I go back my country home at end of year.

My country home is at cold side,but my mind become hot.

Before go back my home,I went to place big earthquake.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_T%C5%8Dhoku_earthquake_and_tsunami

I went there sometimes.

But nothing stay there.

Nothing stay there.

Nothing stay there.

Everybody died

And Everybody died.

7th temple to 11th temple

I stay at Zenkon yado, almost free to stay but no servise and no meal little home.

And I leave there at 4AM and walk around 5th temple,because I found Zenkon yado
at yesterday.

I walked updown road 20Km,at summer heat.

I had some Henro friends,so I walked together.

But I only had sleeping bag ,heavy weight.

So I walked slowly.But after 10th temple,finally I could not walk and lie down beside road.

Old woman came to me and attended her home,and give cold tea.

We talk each other about Buddhism,almost people at there is Buddhist.

So I ask her.If you have a gun and ,someone in front of you have a gun,how do you do?

She answered run away,and her husband answerd just look carefully,if you look carefully,
you can choise what to do.

I am suprised.So I realize that I am searching for such kind of answer at this journey.


So I gave up to have pride,get off Dharma ware temporary and drink beer and sleep well.

Today I decide to take rest and ,I try to choice my heavy baggage send to my home.

I decide to feel carefully  inside myself,like my favorite songs,,,

Video of a-ha The sun always shines on TV

Please don't ask me to defend
The shameful lowlands of the way I'm drifting
Gloomily through time
I reached inside myself today
Thinking there's got to be some way
To keep my troubles distant

Going to country home.

After ceremony of my brothers,I went my country home .

And I pray for ancestors to please forgive my father's attitude and save my brother at grave.

My uncle said to me ,you do a good thing.

When I heard his word,can't stop crying.

1st temple to 7th temple

At 1st temple ,l am really surprised.

I can't say detail... but...

After leave there I start walking Takuhatsu style under summer heat.

Lots of people donate,meals,drinks,and so on.

And I met at a woman.She said to me,please give me money because she doesn't have money.I said to her,do you have house?She said Yes.Where?About 2 hour from here.

I adviced her,I can't give money but if you will believe Buddha and walk Henro few days,somebody support you.And go back to home and go to city government.

But she didn't accept.Police come and she scream big voice and ...

After such time old couple talk to me,do you want ride our car and go next temple?I say yes.

In the car woman said to me,her son died at young age,so everyweek she come to Henro.

And she said,I seems like her son.

After leaving there I stayed kind of Henro house,500 yen need to stay...Very old house and only water and toilet can use but enough for me.

My survival is starting..

To be continued.

I meet lots of Buddhist.

I meet

MrT at Osaka,he lived in Canada for long year.

Monk MrM ,he is a monk of Shingen Sect.

Monk MrS,he is a monk of Ringai Sect.

Thank you for donate me.

Ready to Henro pilgrimage

Before Henro,I stay Osaka 3 days.

MrT help me to stay and teach about Henro.

And Monk MrM and MrS advice me and donate me at Osaka.

And I go to near 1st temple and meet MrM.

He donate me and give material.And he introduce me master of Henro,who did Henro 10 times.

After leave there,I go to 1st temple.

No war ,no violence

My grandfather died at WW2,and killed lots of people.

After war my father's family lose their core of family.And my mother's family always suffer violence.

I can't accept every war and violence.

Accept little bit violence?

No!

Seed of violence,hurt mind of kids.

I say again .No war no violence.

I do ceremony of my younger brother and sister.

I decide to do ceremony for my younger brother and sister.

They already died,at 1 years old.

My father have several family at long time.

He lied...

When he was at drink alcohol,he said this fact.

I lose word when I hear about it.

And my father don't accept to do ceremony.

So I do ceremony only by myself at temple.

When I am at celemony.

I can't stop crying.

I haven't money,so I get kind of memorial goods.

And I call them ,Nina and Iroha.

Nina means 27.

Iro means 16.

In Japanese.They died at I was at 27 and 16 years old.So they don't have name.

So I start walking with them.

To be continued...

Start working,meet Zen

After big desision.

I start working at school.

Suffer under big vertigo.

But I need money...

Very hard situation,I am crying everynight.And I can't eat meal...

But I sleep early night and wake up early morning.

At Saturday,I watch TV,Kokoro no Judai.

About mind.

I watch program Mr Yamada ,who is translator of V.E.Frankl

https://cs.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

He is Austrian psychologist and survivor at Holocaust.

Famous book of this.Written by him.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning

Mr Yamada said ,Frankl style and Zen is nearly equal.

When person seek something to outside,if nothing get,sometimes person despire.But we can change direction 180 degree.

I feel I struck by thunder.

To be continue.

Big desision

I do big desision.

I decide to separate family.

And I give all money to family.

Like Buddha.

My son is 1 years old.

So my pain was terrible.

....

I practice with German person

I practice with 2 German person,who come from Berlin.

Danke schon.

After my uncle died

My uncle died suddenly.He is youger brother of my mother.


My mother is Elder doughter,and next him, ,and 2nd brother,and 3rd brother.


Before he died ,they had trial about my grand father and grand mother home and money.


VS my mother and 2nd brother ,and my uncle.3rd brother is alcohoric...




At celemony just person come my uncle family and me and my mother.
My uncle family have lots of money,because of my grand mother.


She had lots of money.


After celemony,our head monk of our family temple said to us.


Your family do not have person to save grave,so please give money and he will save my
ancestor by agreement by money.


I said to him.


Shame on you! Do you want to have money? Are you Buddhist?


My grand-pa and brother and sister also do tiral.
And father of grand-pa is also.


Keep on do in same thing,because of money,and pride.


So our family of future is depend on only my son.
I am 44 years old,and he is only kids at our family.




I realize person who want to have money is not calm person.
Also head monk...


So I give up to believe them.


I realize money is bad thing,gonna be crazy all of them.
So I do big dicision.


To be continue.

Difficult to cure vertigo

After going to hospital of vertigo,I go back home.

But I can't find good teacher of Buddhism.

So I decide to go fasting retreat.

About 10 years ago,after my father suddenly run away from home,I was helped by fasting.

I decide to go fasting training hotel.

There is where I used to go and do fasting long days.

I do fasting about 2 weeks,and chanting at Shingon Sect ,walking,but my vertigo didn't cure.

At there Mr.T come to here and talk with me,and advice me.

He said to me We are all one.

Buddhism resercher Brian Victoria went there sometime.

But I can't understand about ,we are all one.

And I meet Zen monk Mr.O,he is old monk and do fasting with me.He is also key person of my rebirth...

After I go back home.I am breathless at home with my family.

But at that time ,my mother call by phone suddenly.

My uncle die suddenly...

To be continue.

About donation

Donation mean

Exchange Dharma and money.Right now at Japan.

If you will donate me ,please donate.

I will give your Dharma way forever.

How to donate

I have a PayPal account.

https://www.paypal.com/

And scribe my mail address 

monk.kakunen@gmail.com

Thank you very much.

I practice with French and Czech sitter

This is memo about Dharma friend.

Few days ago women who come from Paris.

Yesterday woman who come from Czech.

Thank you for practice with me.

Policy of posting here

I am Zen monk.

My opinion,Zen monk should just do practice only.But several people said to me please write my experience.

So I start this blog.

So I will post ,very slow.My important thing is just practice.

This is policy of me and here.

And when my teacher say ,please stop this,I have a possibility to stop or temporary stop.

Gassho

My first contact with Buddhism.

When I was a teacher ,suddenly suffered vertigo.

I can't walk.

I can't write.

Difficult to talk.

And at that time my first son born.

So for me very difficult desition but I give up working.

My family separate temporary.

And I went many hospital of vertigo.

But cause of vertigo can't find.

I thought that I give up going hospital,but I decide to go final hospital.

When I called there,accistant manager told me,can you come tomorrow?

Very long distance to there,but I decided to go.

And he said to me just one word.

Emptiness...

If I can understand that,I will cure,he said.

First time,I am very surprised.

His name Mr.T. He lived in Canada long time.

We still keep in touch...

This opportunity changed my life ...

To be continued.